Monthly Archives: June 2013

What If Ancient Rome Had Internet? This Is How Social Media Could Have Looked….Feel Free to Add Your Own!

encouragement-ides-of-march-caesar-better-someecardsSometimes I wonder ancient Romans would have used social networks. Feel free to add your own 2 asses

Amazon.com

Buy the latest Roman Gazette Bestseller list scroll “De Bello Gallico” by Gaius Julius Caesar now! 15% discount if you order before the Ides of March.

Best customer review: “An amazing read” Octavius

Worse customer review: “Hate it, hate it, hate it”! Widow of Vercingetorix 

eBay

Sword used to kill Gaius Julius Caesar. Features original blood stains. Only used once for murder. Condition: fair. Current bid: 100 dinarii excluding shipping.

Facebook

Like pages:

How to poison without leaving a trace” – Empress Livia (1,000,360 likes from the female Roman population and all slaves)

Kinky stuff” – Caligula (likes from Emperor Tiberius)

How to commit patricide” – Brutus (likes from all Roman nobles)

Texting

Noticed that my husband is sexing another hussy” (Caesar’s wife to BFF)

I am here, let’s kill the SOB” (Brutus to fellow conspirators)

Why does oracle4u keeps texting me “Beware of the Ides of March” (bewildered I am NOT bold Caesar to his mistress).

YouTube

Most popular:

– How to cross the Alps with elephants (posted by Hannibal) 10 minutes

– Cleopatra taking a bath (posted by MarcAntony) 3 X-rated minutes

– Speeches by Cicero (too many minutes of “Furthermore, consider that Carthage must be destroyed“)

Netflix and Hulu

The black widow (documentary about Empress Livia 1 hr and 10 min.)

My Space

Emperor Nero featuring playing the violin against a stunning Roman background

Google+

– Friends circle Roman oppressors

– Friends circle Roman wives scorned

– Friends circle slaves revolt

Pinterest

Featured boards:

– Enemies I conquered (by Caesar4u)

– Enemies of Caesar (by Pompey)

– Toga fashion (by Valentinus of Roma)

– Lares (by Matrona)

– Favorite Scrolls (by Virgil)

– Volcanoes (Pliny the Younger)

Twitter

Kicked the s*** out of those #barbarians! #RomaVincit (Posted by #Caesar4u)

Lost another bloody #elephant. Stupid #Alps! (Posted by #Hannibal)

Hate my Daddy#Caesar4u sucks! (Posted by Julia, Caesar’s daughter)

Google translation (utilizing Babylon.com software) of an e-mail in Gallic to Latin:

“You Jules Bold murder wives and children. The Parisii and Gauls cannot take this. Wine and Women superior to Matrons Roman are. So exhaust fluid from this. Fornicate you!”

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